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    Monday, June 06, 2005

    The Greatest American

    Ok, so why do American's always have to affirm their stupidity? The Discovery Channel had a show on last night that chronicled the 100 greatest Americans. Actually, it didn't chronicle the top 25, because voting's still out on them (weird, huh?).

    Anyway, I knew I was in for a long night when #98 was John Edwards. John Edwards? John Edwards? Who in their right mine would think John Edwards is one of the top 100 GREATEST Americans? He hasn't done anything. A freshman senator that mortgaged his political future by running with John Kerry last year? Who nominated him, and what were they smoking?

    Next, the show can't manage who's nominated--that's up to idiot America. But, they can control who comments. I, and every other American, should never be subjected to Clay Aiken, a gay American idol loser who sings about being an invisible voyeur fly, talk about why Lyndon B. Johnson (or anyone else) should be among the top 100. Why would I value Clay Aiken's comments? Does he know anything about LBJ other than what's on the cue card he read? I wanted to claw my eyes out and plug my ears at that moment, but I endured.

    The nonsense continued. Great, influential people like Nikola Tesla (who invented AC current) made it low on the list (#97) while others, like Barbara Bush, Laura Bush, and Tom Cruise made it higher (when did they become great?).

    So, my suggestion is, don't watch it. It makes a travesty, sham, mockery--traveshamockery--of what makes an American, a human, truly great. When the great roll call in the sky is called, I think we will all recognize that Alexander Hamilton, a founding father, father of our economic system, is far greater than #85 (twenty spots lower than Michael Jackson). He was a great American.