Super Bowl XLV Commercials

Congratulations to the Green Bay Packers for an enjoyable victory over the Pittsburg Steelers. After jumping to a 21-3 lead early in the 2nd quarter, I thought it might be a sleeper, but the Steelers made a game of it. If "Big Ben" Roethlisberger hadn't sucked it up on football's grandest stage, the game might truly have been epic.

But that fits, because the commercials - for which the Super Bowl has become known for almost more than the game itself - were just as underwhelming. In fact, most commercials worthy of watching once (let alone again) were aired in the first quarter, and definitely in the first half, of the game. The last quarter was an absolute snoozer.

Below is my top 10 of Super Bowl commercials:

1. Audi Rich People Jail
There will always be debates with these top 10 lists, but I went with this commercial for two (three?) reasons: car commercials are usually extremely boring (and this wasn't), car commercials are usually very hackneyed (which this wasn't), and for #3, they had a great line about Kenny G.

2. Doritos' Resurrecting Crumbs
This is almost 1a in my book. Doritos has a string of Super Bowl hits over the last couple years, and should win an award for "lifetime achievement" at Super Bowl commercials. Plus, they should give their marketing department a huge bonus. The take on resurrecting grandpa was classic. Just classic.

3. Doritos Finger Licking
This is what makes Doritos so amazing - their second commercial is almost better than their first while taking a totally different comedic tact. The guy sucking his coworker's finger was both the most disgusting thing I've seen in a long time (and I deal with buttock abscesses people) and hilariously funny.

4. Motorola Xoom Tablet circa 1984
Many people might not have this commercial rated as highly as I do, but let me explain before you bash. Apple has an iconic touchscreen tablet that rules the market. Apple also busted onto the scene years ago with an iconic 1984-themed commercial taking down Microsoft. Motorola now is repeating the favor with a break-the-mold 1984-themed commercial as it tries to break into the iPad world. Genius.

5. Coca-cola Border Guards
Drawing the line in the sand around the Coke bottle and then rubbing the old line away with his foot brought back flashes of Col. William Travis drawing the line in the sand at the Alamo. Perhaps if the Texans had Coca-cola at the time and shared it with the Mexicans, everything could have been resolved peacefully (see honorable mention Coca-cola Dragon commercial for possible results of said action).

6. Pepsi Max Jealous Girlfriend
I'm on the fence about whether this is truly #6 or somewhere around #26. But the man trying to hide his good tasting but fattening food spoke to me. Perhaps I'm living that as well. And when his wandering eyes cause his girlfriend to throw the Pepsi ... well, that was classic.

7. Volkswagen Passat Darth Vader
To be honest, I had this one lower on my list at first also, but the sheer number of people who like Star Wars and cute commercials had me reconsider it. Some of my fondest smiles come when I make my son's eyes light up. Good commercial.

8. Teleflora Nice Rack
This was probably the best of the two or three email themed commercials. Personally, I've always been in favor of telling it like it is. Girls feign disgust to such responses, but in my experience, they typically are flattered that you find them attractive so they come around and you get the date. Plus, we all know that girls like jerks.

9. Coca-cola World of Warcraft Dragons
Amazing commercial because it brought back thoughts of WoW and Avatar (the fight between the Northern Water Tribe and the Fire Kingdom anybody?). Plus, it was cool to see how they turned it "warm and fuzzy" when it was a war-themed.

10. Groupon Tibet
I love Tibet, and this "Tibetan culture is fading" theme got bonus points even though Groupon twisted it to their nefarious coupon-hawking machinations. Score one for being civic-minded.